Parenting is hard. It’s tough to deal with the boatloads of energy, the screaming, the crying, the incessant questions, the begging for toys and treats, doctors appointments, and constant monitoring.
Eventually parents get used to being waken up in the middle of night because monsters are under the bed or their kid peed themselves, but what about when their children’s entry into their bedroom is ill timed… as in Little Billy walked in on sexy time? Hopefully it’s more confusing than traumatizing for the child.
Read the stories from moms and dads whose kids have busted in on them getting carnal.
P in V
I was pregnant, and my six year old (at that time) walked in on us. He immediately walked out and shut the door and my husband and I freaked out. I went downstairs and found him coloring at the kitchen table.
I sat down and said, “You saw Daddy and me in a private moment and I just wanted to make sure–” and he interrupted with, “When you were having sexual intercourse? That’s what it’s called, SEXUAL INTERCOURSE.” I was like, “Yes, and I just wanted to make sure you weren’t upset or scared or anything.” He asked, “You mean because I saw you having SEXUAL INTERCOURSE?” I said, “Yes.” He said, “No…I’m not scared or upset. Why, were YOU scared or upset?” I said no. He said, “I’ll tell you what I thought. I was thinking, I wonder if she’ll get another baby in there and then we can have twin babies!”
But then for like months after that, if anyone would say the word “private” he would say, “Some people say ‘private moment’ when they mean SEXUAL INTERCOURSE, which is a p*nis going into a v*gina, and it’s how babies get inside the Mom.”(MarianneDashwood)
7 year old grandson walked in on mom and dad two weeks ago. Dad tells him to get out. Grandson says he just wanted to give mom a good morning kiss. Dad repeats “get out”. Mom comes out a few minutes later and grandson asks what dad was doing. Mom says he was giving her a kiss. Grandson said “I know what you were doing and it’s disgusting, and now I don’t want to kiss you good morning”. (redeyedone)
A woman I’d been flirting with for months at the bar finally took me home. We didn’t have s*x, but slept together – with our clothes on.
The 5 year old daughter I didn’t know she had walks in in the morning. Stops, stares at me and then turns to her mom and shouts, “MOMMIE! You swore you wouldn’t do this any more. You promised” and stormed out of the room.
Girlfriend looked and me in shock and embarrassment. I should [have] been mad at her, but I felt for her (ok, I reeeaaly liked her).
I immediately got up and walked into the hall where the girl was standing and said, “hey look – I’ve got all my clothes on. Im so sorry to upset you. I was just really tired and needed to take a nap”. She stopped crying immediately and whimpered, “…really?”.
I said, “really” and then told her how great she was for waking me up because I needed to get to work. I told her she was my hero for the day. She smiled and went into the bedroom to be with mommy.
I thanked the youngster again. My friend had a look of disbelief on her face. I told them I would be in touch and asked the little girl if it would be alright to come back and visit sometime. She nodded enthusiastically.
The woman and I dated for another few months. It didn’t work, but we remained friends.
I attended the little girls [sic] high school graduation 13 years later. (decorama)
Original by Chewy Boese