Many people think that long-term relationships are doomed to boredom and lack of spontaneity. But this isn’t necessarily the case when you approach the whole intimacy deal with an open mind and when you are ready to experiment with new things.
Naturally, the spark will fade a little after the relationship matures, and both partners become more familiar with one another. In some cases, the general attitude of the partners will also deteriorate a little when the spark goes out. But the relationship is far from being doomed. While there are no two relationships alike, the tips below are proven to work in most of the cases, to bring the joy and adventure back in the couple’s life.
Work on emotional intimacy
The cornerstone of a healthy and fulfilling relationship is a deep emotional connection. When partners get used to each other, the situation can go in either of the following directions.
- They become closer and communicate better. They know each other’s triggers and what makes them happy, and they try to apply that information in practical ways to keep their relationship alive.
- They get bored and start to ignore each other’s emotional needs. The relationship deteriorates due to the lack of healthy emotional intimacy.
To avoid the second scenario, try to apply some of the following strategies. Emotional closeness can be reached easily if both partners are willing to work on improving it.
Try to focus more on your partner’s needs, be those physical or emotional. At the same time, express your own feelings and needs, be those positive or negative. Try to be assertive when expressing your needs, and avoid being inflammatory when discussing your issues.
Try to be as emphatic as possible. Walk in your partner’s shoes when issues in the couple appear. See what they might be feeling like in different scenarios.
Of course, to work as expected all these strategies should be applied by both partners. Emotional intimacy can be reached only through sustained, continuous efforts.
Don’t fear the unknown
Fear is the thief of joy. And this applicable in your intimate life as well. But so is routine. In the bedroom, a routine can decrease the passion and can make the spark fade our really fast. While being comfortable in the bedroom and not getting involved in acts that make you rethink your relationship is incredibly important, a little more adventure can’t hurt. People change, and so do their sexual needs. To be sure you both fulfil your sexual needs, don’t shy away from discussing this topic. See what might make the couple move forward in the bedroom and try to experiment more.
Today, it’s easy to find entertaining ways to experiment in the bedroom. According to Hot Cherry, wand vibrators, vibrating panties, and other sex toys, are just perfect to broaden your horizons in the bedroom.
Be sure to discuss with your partner about boundaries and things that make you uncomfortable. You may both be skeptical at first, but being more adventurous in the bedroom can only benefit your relationship.
Focus more on the build-up
Foreplay may be the most important part of any sexual activity. But many couples still don’t focus on this part. Once partners become familiar with one another, foreplay tends to get shorter and shorter. But this is a mistake that can bring a healthy, happy couple to ruin. While foreplay has benefits for physical intimacy, it also seems to increase emotional intimacy.
When working on improving foreplay, spice things up a little. Change the location and bring your fantasies to life during this part of your intercourse. Try role playing, even if it might not be your cup of tea. If your partner expresses the wish to put some of their fantasies into practice, encourage them, even if you might not be as thrilled by the idea as them. Build up to the moment more carefully, the sex will shortly become significantly more fulfilling.
A healthy sex life is not the only thing that keeps the spark alive. For a healthy and happy relationship, try to show affection and appreciation as frequently as possible. This will bring you both closer to one another and it can change the entire dynamic of the relationship. Say thank you more frequently, sneak a kiss on the cheek randomly and even a small unexpected hug. This will make your partner feel like they are important and worthy of your attention. Have dinner for two in the comfort of your home, make everything about being affectionate. It may or may not lead to sex every time, but this approach is a sure way to keep the spark alive.
Keep the mystery alive
Being straightforward is key for a durable relationship. But in long-term relationships, where there are few things to be discovered, you have to keep the mystery alive. Make an effort to be seductive; make an effort to keep the same freshness and surprise in your relationship like in the beginning. Break the rules you used your partner with and be surprising. Be a new you every day.
Pro tip: give up your ugly underwear, invest in something new and exciting.
Try to recreate your first dates
Strive to bring back the butterflies in your stomach; to make your partner feel like they did on your first date. Take your partner on a surprise date at the same venue you first met. Make them re-live the sensation they had when they first met you. This will make you both remember why you ended up together. And it will make your bedroom life more adventurous and thrilling. You may be long past your first dates, but re-living the moment is a good way to bring back the spark in your relationship.
Sex is a top priority for healthy couples
You have a busy schedule; you are in a relationship for years. It’s normal not to crave sex as frequently as at the beginning of the relationship. But nonetheless, you have to make an effort and maintain sex one of your relationship’s top priorities. Of course, there are other things more important than sex , but as soon as this decreases in importance, resentment and frustrations are more likely to appear.